Here is the continuation of the letters written back and forth between my and my wife.
We are less than twelve hours until I am on a plane. We are less than sixteen hours from meeting for the very first time. You just got off the call with me earlier, and my heart started to beat heavily as I realized how much I already missed you. Even though I know you’re going to call me back, I know we’ll talk tomorrow, and I know we’ll be in each other’s arms soon enough, but I can’t help but miss you dearly.
We are less than a day away from our meet-cute. We are less than a day away from starting the adventure of the rest of our lives. We are less than a day away from seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, understanding, and adding a sense of reality to each other for the first time. We are less than a day away from going from “me” to “we”.
A small piece of me burns with anxiety and nerves. Another part of me burns with desire, love, and excitement. I’m not sure how much I’m going to sleep tonight. I’m honestly not sure how well I’m going to handle knowing I am on a plane, just a few hours from landing in Milwaukee. I’ve been running so many different scenarios of what might go wrong in the back of my mind. You know what, it doesn’t matter. I honestly don’t care what might go wrong, simply because I know that you’ll be there to fight the battle with me.
Never again will I have to walk through fire by myself. I will be by your side, just as you’ll be by mine throughout everything. Regardless of what life has to throw at us, tomorrow reaffirms the idea that we will be there, arm in arm, hand in hand, to fight whatever battles get thrown our way.
As I write this, I’ve come to find that my hands are shaking. They’re shaking because I am so nervous and yet so excited for what adventures await me on the other side of those flights tomorrow. I am having the hardest time typing this, and it’s causing me to become even more nervous and excited. Sweat is literally pouring down my brow right now at the prospect of having you in my life in a less surreal way.
I love you, Emily. I love you more than I could ever put into words. I love you more than I ever thought possible. I have never loved this way before, and I have never been loved like this before. Tomorrow is so close. So close. I cannot wait until the morning. Until 2:23pm tomorrow, my love…
I cannot express just how many “oh’s” I want say. It’s 8:15am as I write this and my palms are slick with sweat, my stomach is in knots and my chest is being constricted by what feels like a boa constrictor, and a choking lump in my throat. I want to say all the right things, especially because you won’t read this for a while, and I’m afraid I’m at a lost for words. I want everything to go smoothly today and I hope we can look back at this coming moment with love and maybe laughter.
I’m not sure what I’ll actually get accomplished today for work. My head is definitely not in it today. The clock is crawling and I want to fast forward this part so badly even though I know the anxiety will increase. I’m just at the point that I want to get this over with and be in your arms. I’m so scared, so worried, and I know it’s silly. I know there’s no need to be any of those things. My rational is screaming “get a grip girl,” but I just can’t seem to get past it. I don’t want to be shy when we meet, I know I shouldn’t be, but I probably will be. Actually, come to think of it, this will be hilarious to read when it’s all over. So, that’s comforting, but I for now I’m just going to keep freaking out over here and give us a good hearty and farty laugh.
I keep looking at the email you sent me, at the times and then the clock and repeat. Why? Why do I keep torturing myself? It’s because I’m excited for our adventure, for us. From the moment you get off that plane, I want time to crawl just like this. I want to appreciate every day, hour, minute, and second while I have you. OH MY GOD.. The fucking feels you beat me with in fucking pinterest.. Such a bad idea, so so so bad. Anyways, I can’t wait to see you and I’m so fuckign excited to look at you with out a phone, to hear you without speakers, and to feel and smell you for the very first time.
There are so few people who get to experience something like this. I am honored I get to one of those people and I’m grateful it is with you. I will never be able to repay you for all you have done for me, but I hope this is our start to forever so that I may try. I love you, more than I ever thought possible.
I hope you’re enjoying your time so far, I know it’s only been a few hours since you’ve arrived, but I want you to feel at home even if I’m not there. I hope you found last night satisfactory, but more importantly, special. It was, hopefully, a great step in your life and I’m honored I was the one to take it with you. I look forward to the many more we are bound to take and I hope they are all in stride.
I know this is all so new to you and I, for different reason and similar for that matter. Every step of the way will be a learning experience for the two of us and I’m honestly excited for it. Of course the nerves have not gone entirely, though, I’m not sure if it’s excitement or anxiety at this point, it’s becoming hard to tell the difference. But I feel safe, loved, and genuinely happy when I’m with you. Already I can tell this is going to be one hell of a ride and I can’t be happier that it’s with you. You’re so collected, calm, patient, and understanding that I am unbelievably grateful for you.
I’ll come out of my shell fully soon enough, I promise you. We made huge leaps last night and I think that will help. Thank you for being patient and understanding with me. Soon enough I’ll drive you insane and I look forward to it 😉 I can’t wait for our date tonight and coming home to you today.
*All letters are left as written. I made no edits to the writing.
**More letters to come!